


Butterfly Fly Away

by Saiainohito



Category: the GazettE (Band)
Genre: Drama & Romance, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Visual Kei, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-01-27 02:40:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21384721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saiainohito/pseuds/Saiainohito
Summary: The fun adventures of the Gazeboys as they explore..well, each other. Drama! Love! Sex (oh, yes!), and more!WAY BACK IN 2010 I MADE A PROMO VIDEO FOR THIS STORY. The quality is terrible at best in most parts, but for nostalgia's sake here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jukphZdc7Tsuruhaxaoi, kaixruki, reitax?, miyavix?, gacktx?
Relationships: Aoi/Reita (the GazettE), Aoi/Uruha (the GazettE), Kai/Ruki (the GazettE), Miyavi | Ishihara Takamasa/Uruha (the GazettE), gackt/surprise
Kudos: 3





	1. The Beginning

**Way back in 2009 I wrote this story. It has been re-edited for the sake of not being absolutely terrible. The first few chapters are short and a little on the simple side, but please push through as the story gets so much better <3 **

**Also, way back in 2010 I made a promotional video for this story...the quality now is extremely terrible. (Pixels galore) But for nostalgia's sake I've included the link here and in the introduction. Looking back on it now, I'd put so much effort into it.It's a shame the quality of the video has gotten so bad (not sure why that happened) but please enjoy none the less.**

The Gazette was sitting around the table at Kai's apartment, drinks in hand, waiting for a dinner that Kai had cooked for them. The conversation had died down a bit when Uruha spoke up.

"Why do you figure people say 'have your cake and eat it, too'?" he questioned out of nowhere. The others stared at him for a moment, confused by the abrupt change, although it really wasn't that out of character for their guitarist.

"Are you serious?" Ruki said, breaking the awkward silence after Uruha's outburst. Uruha nodded. Kai laughed lightheartedly while Aoi sighed, shaking his head. "It means you can't have everything you want in life, baka."

"That makes no sense. What does cake have to do with any of that?" Uruha questioned. Aoi sighed once more, irritation showing on his face as he sipped his drink.

"It's just a saying, Uruha. Let it go," he said, annoyed at the pointless conversation.

"But it doesn't make any sense. What's the point of having cake if you can't eat it?" Uruha said, making Kai laugh again. Reita jumped into the conversation, smirking a bit. His glass was nearly empty and he felt a little buzzed already.

"He does have a point," he said. Everybody's head turned towards Reita.

"When did you get here?" Kai asked.

"I've been here the whole time!" Reita exclaimed, staring at Kai. "Are you that blind?"

"Hey! It's not his fault you're always so quiet! You just sit there!" Ruki defended Kai. Uruha watched quietly, though enjoying the mess he had created. Aoi got tired of hearing them argue and escaped to the living room to watch TV. Uruha watched him leave, then got up from his seat and followed him.

Aoi was watching TV when Uruha walked into the room quietly. Looking to see what Aoi was watching, he was surprised to find that the TV wasn't even on. Confused, he looked back to Aoi and bit his lip. He was a bit nervous. Things had been tense between the two of them lately, and Aoi had been extra moody today. Still, he decided to try and repair things between the two of them.

"Can I watch TV with you?" Aoi turned his head to stare at Uruha like he was crazy. Tears formed in Uruha's eyes. He felt like an idiot for saying that, but he had hoped it would come across as a funny joke. Instead, he just made himself look ridiculous. He turned and walked away. _Why did he even bother trying? _

"Uru, wait," Aoi's voice called to him. Uruha turned his head back to look at Aoi inquisitively. "Come, sit." Uruha walked silently over to Aoi and sat down beside him. "What do you want to watch?" Uru smiled a bit, feeling a little better about the situation. He didn't want there to be issues between the two of them. He cared _way _too much about Aoi. Still, even watching TV with him would make him nervous. "Uruha? What do you want to watch?" Aoi repeated his question. 

"You." Uruha thought, not realizing that he said it out loud. Aoi looked at him, a slight blush on his cheek.

"Um, I'm not quite sure what to say to that," he replied. Uruha realized his brain had betrayed him and that he had said his thoughts out loud. Covering his mouth with a gasp, his cheeks became red with embarrassment.

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say that! Honestly, I didn't! Sorry sorry sorry sorry," Uruha apologized over and over again. Now pacing in front of the couch, he bit his nails, obviously really upset about just possibly blowing his cover. Aoi stood up and walked over to Uruha, stopping him in mid-step. Taking his hands away from his mouth, Aoi sat Uruha back down.

"It's fine. Really. Don't stress over it. Seriously," Aoi told him, speaking a bit softer. Uruha couldn't concentrate on anything Aoi said because he was too busy staring at Aoi's hands still holding his. "Uruha? Uruha, can you hear me?"

"Huh?" Uruha said, brought back down to the real world. Looking back over to Aoi, his breath caught in his throat. Damn, he was sexy.

"I'd rather watch you, too," Aoi said, his voice now barely a whisper to Uruha's ears as the space between them continued to grow smaller and smaller. Uruha gasped a little as he felt Aoi's breath on his skin, making Aoi stop for a moment before pressing his lips against Uruha's.

Uruha felt like he was flying through the air at a million miles per second. The butterflies in his stomach were ever growing, and he couldn't help but kiss back. Aoi wanted him! Aoi, the person Uruha had been in love with for years, wanted him! How more perfect could this moment be? Uruha wrapped a hand around Aoi's neck and pulled him closer, sparks igniting in his stomach as he hears Aoi moan. Aoi placed his hands on either side of Uruha's hips to support him as the kiss grew more intense. Aoi thought about stopping it. He didn't want to make Uruha uncomfortable...not that Uruha was showing any signs of that.

"Damn, that's hot," a voice said from the doorway. Aoi and Uruha broke their kiss quickly as they heard the voice of the man in the doorway. Reita stood there, staring at the scene before him. Aoi had been leaning over Uruha, pressing the honey blonde's back to the seat of the couch. It was a rather suggestive situation. Aoi sat up, quickly adjusting his clothes before glaring at Reita.

"What a way to interrupt, Reita," Aoi growled. Reita smirked, holding back a laugh as he saw Uruha's now ruffled hair. Uruha remained silent through this, completely mortified at the situation.

"Just doing my part," Reita laughed, "Seriously though, Kai told me to tell you two dinner's ready." Without another word, Reita walked out of the room. Laughing could be heard coming from the kitchen moments later.

Aoi looked over at Uruha to see that he was blushing horribly. Leaning over, Aoi gave him a small, sweet kiss before taking his hand and leading him to the kitchen. Uruha dreaded returning to the others. How could he even possibly prepare for the judging his band mates would throw their way?


	2. Reassurance

The next few days were hard on Uruha. After the events at Kai's place, he wasn't really sure what would happen. His band mates had said nothing to them about what happened in Kai's living room. The longer the silence on the matter continued, he realized that Reita hadn't actually told the others about what he'd witnessed. Aoi said nothing during the dinner, and left quietly at the end of the night without another mention of the kiss. 

_It wasn't fair, _Uruha thought. His heart was sitting out in the open, just waiting to be hurt. That brief moment had given him so much hope that maybe his hopes and dreams weren't doomed to die within his mind. But now it had been days since the incident and nothing had changed. Now, he had to go to a band meeting and spend the whole day in the same room as Aoi.

The day started off uneventfully. At seven o' clock, he woke up. At eight thirty, he got out of bed. From nine o' clock to ten thirty, Uruha spent time fixing his hair and make up just the way he wanted. At eleven o' clock, he left his house to take a leisurely walk to the practice space.

Today he decided to take a walk through the park. He always enjoyed the park because it was so quiet. It made it easier to think, and he had plenty of things to think about lately. Uruha had been hurt many times in the past and he didn't want it to happen again. He wanted to make sure that this was real. The silence over the past few days had made him wary about what was really going on. _Was it just the alcohol that made Aoi act that way?_

Checking the time on his phone, he swore under his breath. He'd lingered too long on his walk, and now he was late. Ruki was going to bite his head off for this. Hurrying into the studio, he was immediately bombarded with questions from an angry Ruki, and an angry Ruki can be very scary. Uruha stopped on the spot, biting his lip as the vocalist went off on him. 

"Where the hell were you? We were supposed to start half an hour ago!" Uruha sighed and looked at his friend.

"I'm sorry...I walked through the park on the way here and it took longer than I thought." It wasn't exactly untruthful. He just didn't want to say out loud _why _ it took as long as it did. Especially with Aoi in the same room. Uruha tried his best not to look towards the raven-haired man, but it wasn't easy. 

"We've been waiting forever for you! You decided to take your time walking around the park! Oh _wow_, can't miss that, can you?" Ruki was mad, and when he's mad he could be extremely sarcastic. Uruha winced at Ruki's tone as he stood there helpless. Ruki continued to yell at him, but he started to tune it out. At some point, Ruki just starts repeating himself. 

"Ruki, give it a rest," Aoi spoke up suddenly, surprising both Uruha and Ruki. Aoi walked over to them. "Seriously, let's just get started." Aoi placed his hand on Ruki and led him over to the microphone. "Now that everybody is here, we can get started." Sighing, Ruki grabbed the microphone and tried to shake off the mood he'd gotten himself into. Aoi smiled over at Uruha and winked. That surprised Uruha, and he his face heated up despite trying to ignore it. If the man wanted to ignore him like he had and then pull this, Uruha wasn't going to respond. At least, he was going to _try. _

"Ok, let's start with Regret," Ruki demanded. Exchanging glances, the rest of the band moved into their places and started on their work. Uruha was quiet as he focused on the music. He didn't want to be distracted during the practice. It wouldn't help to piss Ruki off any more than he was already. Plus, this way it was a lot easier to avoid looking at Aoi.

At break time, Uruha went to go get a bottle of water from the vending machine down the hall. The hallway was abandoned, and the sound of the coins falling into the machine was too loud for Uruha's liking. After the crash of the bottle falling, he grabbed it quickly and turned around. His eyes widened as he nearly ran into Aoi, inches away from hitting Aoi's nose with his own.

"Careful," Aoi said, smiling as he grabbed Uruha's arms to stop him from running into him. The surprised expression on Uruha's face made Aoi chuckle. The little smirk on Aoi's lips was not helping Uruha's case _at all. _

"Sorry," Uruha mumbled, stepping away quickly before he did something stupid. Aoi frowned, and ran his fingers through Uruha's hair softly. The gentle touch was soothing, but Uruha wasn't about to give in. This nice little moment didn't replace the silence he'd dealt with over the past few days.

"It's ok..." Aoi whispered, leaning in. Uruha noticed, but couldn't make himself pull away. He wanted what was coming next, as much as he tried to convince himself that he didn't. Closing his eyes slowly, his heart raced a bit as he waited. The sound of a door opening had the two pulling away before anything happened, and Uruha breathed out a sigh of relief. Kai stepped out into the hallway, looking at the two curiously.

"You guys coming or what?" he asked. Uruha stepped further away from Aoi and looked down.

"Yeah, we're coming," Aoi said, watching Uruha quietly as he was inching away. Aoi frowned. He could tell something was up with Uruha, and he wanted to know. Kai went back into the studio, and Aoi went towards Uruha to confront him, but Uruha just followed Kai silently.

After practice, Aoi was sure of what he was going to do, and nobody was going to stop him, although it seemed everybody was going to try. Ruki stopped him to make sure that he practiced their new song. Kai stopped him to see if he wanted to hang out but Aoi turned him down politely, saying that he had other plans. Kai seemed disappointed but brightened up when Ruki and Reita said they would come over. Aoi looked over the room in search of Uruha, but he wasn't there. Hurrying out the door, he found Uruha walking back home through the park. Running up to him, he put a hand on Uruha's shoulder to get his intention, though making him unintentionally jump.

"Sorry," Aoi apologized. Uruha sighed, and turned around. "You didn't say goodbye." Uruha shrugged silently, trying his best to avoid eye contact. "Is everything alright?" Uruha nodded, but said nothing. Aoi touched his cheek, frowning as Uruha moved his head away. Aoi looked at him with a worried expression. "Tell me what's going on."

Aoi took Uruha to a more secluded part of the park. There was a nice marble fountain, a few benches and a walkway. Surrounded by trees, it was a quiet place. They sat down beside each other on the side of the fountain. Uruha was silent still, and instead focused his gaze on the water. His fingers moved over the surface lightly, watching the little waves move away from his hand. 

"Now, what's up?" Aoi asked, taking Uruha's hand from the water, entwining their fingers together instead. Uruha pulled his hand back away a bit quicker than he intended and frowned more. "Uruha?" Aoi looked at him, a little hurt. "You can tell me..."

"It's not a big deal..." Uruha said after a moment, not even sure how he would approach the topic that seemed so silly but still bothered him so much. Aoi took Uruha's hand again and kissed it gently. Uruha looked at him, his eyes betraying his silence and showing the hurt he was trying to hide.

"Please tell me," Aoi asked, looking into Uruha's eyes. Uruha shook his head.

"Seriously, it's not a big deal," Uruha told him again, feeling more and more ridiculous even being there. Aoi moved closer, wrapped his arm around Uruha's back and kissed his neck.

"Tell me..."Aoi took the skin on Uruha's neck between his teeth and bit lightly, causing Uruha to jump and whimper, moving away slightly. This only caused Aoi to be more confused. _Was he scared or something?_

"Please Aoi, don't," Uruha said, inching away. Aoi's eyes opened wide when he realized exactly what was going on. He took a second to put together his words properly, biting his lip as he looked at Uruha.

"Uruha, don't worry. You don't have to be nervous about this," Aoi comforted, taking Uruha's hand gently. "It's ok."

"Aoi...I've been hurt too many times. I don't want it to happen again," Uruha said in a small voice, looking at him. Aoi looked at him, and gave him a smile, before pulling his closer, and kissing him sweetly. Uruha couldn't fight the soft touch and kissed back, sighing a bit into the kiss.

"I'll never hurt you."


	3. We All Do Bad Things When We Drink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~!~!~!~  
will show a jump in the timeline (usually skipping over scenes or events)

Reita, Ruki and Kai were all sitting in Kai's living room, pissed drunk. Nobody remembered why they were laughing so hard, but it didn't matter. As the laughing continued, Reita lost his balance and fell off the couch, causing the group to only laugh harder. Reita got up and rubbed the back of his head.

"I think I need to go home..."Reita said, stumbling to the door before putting his shoes on. Kai called him a cab, and twenty minutes later Kai and Ruki were alone. They sat silently in the living room for a while, not really sure what to do or say. It wasn't an awkward silence. Between the two of them, it could never be awkward. They'd been friends for so long that nothing could make them feel uncomfortable with each other. This time though, the silence felt heavy between them. Slowly, Ruki glanced over at Kai.

Over the years, he had developed a bit of a crush on Kai. He had admired the way that he was always able to stay calm, even in the most horrible situations. Plus, he loved his smile. The dang thing was so contagious. Ruki sighed. Half the things he dreamed about would never happen. Kai would never know how much Ruki had grown to care for him. He would never understand all the thoughts that raced through his mind anytime the drummer came close to him. Or how the soft voice Kai used when Ruki was upset was the only thing that would calm him down again.

"Would you like another drink?" Kai offered, breaking the silence. Ruki nodded silently, too absorbed in his own thoughts. Kai took their glasses away to the kitchen. Ruki sat quietly in the room, hearing the small sounds from the kitchen as Kai replenished their drinks. His tipsy mind made it a little hard to focus, but he tried to relax. Nothing was going to happen. 

Kai mixed the drinks and poured them into each of their glasses. Sighing, he leaned on the counter. It was getting really awkward back there for a while. All Kai really wanted to do was attack Ruki's mouth with his own. Kai knew he shouldn't think this way about the vocalist, but he couldn't help be attracted to him. With the way his voice always seemed to call to him, and the way his eyes always seemed to travel to him during practice, the way his lips seem to drip with lust...Kai shook his head. He must have just been imagining those things. There is no way that Ruki would ever feel the same way as he did.

But...it's not to say that Kai couldn't help. Kai smiled as he thought that, but shook his head. _He couldn't..._It would be so, so wrong. _But..._Would Ruki really even know? Kai felt awful even thinking about the option. _But he did have some of the pills do to an unfortunate encounter with his pharmacist mixing up prescriptions..._No! He couldn't possibly. He wasn't that guy! _But I'm desperate..._and a drunk Kai barely even noticed when he added the pill to the drink and watched it dissolve. _He was going to hell...._

They sat down again, and Ruki gradually sipped his drink. It was killing Kai how long it was taking. _Just take the drink away..._Sober Kai was arguing with him that he shouldn't even let this continue..but drunk Kai was horny and sad. _Never a good combination... _At least it was only Viagra... It wasn't like he was trying to roofie him or something.

"So, lovely weather, huh?" Kai said, a little nervous already. Ruki shrugged, looking at Kai, already biting his lip. Kai smiled. Soon, oh so soon.

~!~!~!~!~

Ruki woke up with a major headache. He had drunk so much alcohol last night at Kai's. He really shouldn't do that, but he couldn't help but spend any time he could with Kai. Ruki decided to get up and take a shower to help rid him of his hangover. Although, when he tried to move, he found that there was something on him that was not planning on moving anytime soon. That something had their arms around his waist and head resting in the croon of his neck. Ruki opened his eyes cautiously. Kai was laying on him, still in a deep sleep. He was breathing lightly, causing a few strands of his hair to flutter every time he breathed out. Ruki smiled, then realized that neither one of them had any sort of cloth between them. Shutting his eyes tight, Ruki mentally cursed himself for letting this happen. He loved Kai, he wanted Kai, but he didn't want to rush this, least of all when they were drunk. 

Moving carefully, Ruki managed to get up without waking Kai up. With the way that he had been drinking last night it was a wonder that Ruki was even up this early. Jumping into Kai's shower, he let the cold water run over him to wake him up before turning on the warm water. He really didn't want it to happen like this. Ruki felt horrible for letting this happen. He was certain that Kai had drank even more than himself. Did he even know what was going on? Would he remember?

Walking back out into the room, he saw that the bed was now empty and heard Kai throwing up in the other bathroom. Sighing, Ruki went to help his friend in his time of need. Kai was always more vulnerable to intoxication than Ruki. _He really shouldn't have slept with him..._

After running Kai a bath, Ruki went down into the kitchen to make some breakfast for them. Deciding on something simple, he made some rice and egg with what he found in the fridge. Normally, Kai would cook and it would be far more impressive. Ruki hoped that this was okay. He didn't have the skills in the kitchen like Kai did. The drummer came down the stairs a little later, looking his usual perky self.

"Good morning sunshine," Kai said, bouncing up to Ruki, and wrapped his arms around his waist. Ruki felt a soft kiss on his neck and smiled a bit. Well, at the very least Kai didn't seem to mind what happened. If fact, he seemed pretty darn happy about it.

"Morning," Ruki replied. He turned around and pulled Kai closer. Kai kissed him gently on the lips before grabbing some food, mumbling his thanks and hurrying into the living room to catch the morning cartoons. Ruki smirked as he heard the familiar sounds of the Bugs Bunny show playing. _Always his usual bouncy self, _Ruki thought, before grabbing his own food and joining Kai.


	4. Unnecessary

They were all gathered in the living room of Reita's house. Aoi and Uruha sat on the couch; Kai sat on the recliner with Ruki sitting in between his legs, resting his head on Kai's thigh. Reita sat on the other chair, facing the others. He eyed Ruki's suggestive position, but didn't say anything. Aoi and Uruha weren't even paying attention to notice, too focused on the screens of their phone. They were waiting for the arrival of their manager. He was to come to tell them something important for the band.

A knock on the door brought all of their heads up, and Reita went to the front door to welcome in their manager. Sitting back down, they all awaited to hear the news. Their manager stood in front of them all with a small little smile that reminded them all of a guinea pig. It was frequently in their drunken discussions, though they would never say anything to his face. He was still a good manager, except for unnecessarily calling meeting for items that could have easily been an email...another item they frequently discussed.

"Well, I am assuming that you are all wondering exactly what news I have for the band," he began. The band exchanged small murmurs and nods, rolling their eyes at the obvious statement. Why else would they all be gathered so early? "Well, I have set up an interview for you on a local TV show to promote the album release. It should be a nice mix of fun and serious, so it will be fun for you guys!" 

Ruki and Kai almost immediately got huge grins on their faces. They loved interviews, especially the ones with games where they could tease each other. There were often dares on who could embarrass the others more. Ruki always won. Aoi thought about questions that the interviewer might ask, and how it would be best for him to answer. He tended to overthink these things, but he was usually asked some technical questions regarding the guitars on the album. Uruha remained quiet, glancing over at Reita as the bassist groaned.

"Another one?!" Reita complained, "We just had one a month ago!" Reita pouted, crossing his arms over his chest, leaning back in the chair. Kai giggled, making Ruki smile slightly.

"Reita, that was over five months ago!" Kai mentioned. Reita's eyebrows furrowed in frustration, and he looked away. It's not that Reita disliked interviews per say. But he was generally quiet during the interview, never having much opportunity to say anything. He'd been really hoping that whatever news the manager was bringing would have been better news than this. Besides...he was usually the target during their dares. _You make yourself an easy target..._ "Anyways, continue."

"Thank you, Kai," their manager said, before continuing with his news, "Now, is there anything at all that you may be hiding from the public that you do not want brought up?" The question. They all knew it would come. It was asked at the beginning of every album cycle. Getting an update on any personal matters that were better left hidden was pretty common. Usually there wasn't much change, but this time... 

Neither couple was sure that they wanted the rest of the band to know yet. The room was silent, and the longer that it stayed that way, the more everyone started to feel nervous. Glances darted between partners...Reita sat there confused as hell. Should they say something? "Nothing?" Silence. "Alright, well, if that's all; I will be leaving now," their manager stated, bowing, "The interview is Thursday at four o' clock. I'll email the address to each of you. Don't be late." With that, their manager left the house, and the band was once again alone.

Nobody spoke. Nobody dared. Reita shifted uncomfortably. He wasn't really sure what the cause of this silence was, but he wanted out of it as soon as possible. Ruki coughed, making Kai's focus go to Ruki. _Would he say something?_

"I'm going to make a sandwich. Any of you want anything?" Reita asked. Kai and Ruki were oblivious to anything that was happening around them. Aoi nodded, and Uruha just mumbled a quiet 'no'. "Alrighty," Reita said, leaving into the kitchen. Moments later, they heard a yelp and a string of swears before Reita came in holding his hand tightly. Aoi got up instantly, and went over to him.

"What happened?" Aoi asked. Reita groaned and showed him the huge cut on his finger which was losing a lot of blood. "Oh, Reita...you idiot..."

"I was just cutting the ham for the sandwiches, and I -..." Reita swore again, shaking his head. Aoi shushed him, and took him to the sink to rinse it. Uruha just watched them as they left. Aoi was just helping Reita, so why did Uruha feel like Aoi was being taken from him? Uruha shook off the feeling. He wasn't jealous. There was no reason to be jealous. Sighing, he sat there quietly until Ruki and Kai told him that they were leaving. Uruha nodded silently, secretly dreading that now he would be alone.

Uruha sat the patiently, waiting for Aoi and Reita to return. Watching as the hands on the clock turned, he sighed and got up. "I'm going to go..." He called out towards the kitchen, expecting to be acknowledged, but getting no response back. There was probably no reason for him to feel that burning sense of jealousy. Lying to himself always made him feel better. Leaving the house quietly, Uruha walked home by himself, trying to get rid of the horrible feeling still living in his stomach.


	5. Do You Like It?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT WARNING

Kai's car pulled up in front of Ruki's house, and the vocalist looked up at his house with a soft sigh. The car was quiet, but not an uncomfortable silence. Ruki looked over at Kai with a soft smile, a soft blush tinging his cheeks as he looked over his still-secret boyfriend's face. 

"Well, thanks for the ride..." Ruki said, undoing his seat belt. Kai smiled, showing off his dimples unintentionally. Ruki grinned a bit at that and studied the other's face, memorizing every little bit.

"Anytime." Kai watched as Ruki grabbed his stuff out of the back and walked around to the driver's side of the car. Leaning into Kai's open window, Ruki smiled as he stole a soft kiss from the drummer's lips. Kai smiled up at him.

"Hey, uh, you wanna come in for a bit?" Ruki asked. Kai smirked, looking at Ruki playfully. If Ruki had in mind what Kai had in mind, then this would be the perfect time of the night to say 'yes'. _Although there was surely to be more opportunities as the night went on..._

"Sure thing, babe," Kai smirked again. Getting out of the car, Kai locked his car with the press of a button, the headlights flashing in the darkness as it did. Kai walked next to his chibi partner, resting a hand on the small of his back. Ruki batted him away with a smirk, shaking his head. _He sure as hell wasn't going to be girl here..._

Ushering Kai into the house, Ruki locked the door behind them before turning on the lights. His place brightened up as the lights reflected off of the clean surfaces of his place. Smiling a bit proudly at the state of his place, he looked over to Kai. "So do you want something to drink?" 

Kai carefully took his shoes off, setting them aside before moving into the place. He was always impressed with Ruki's place. The cleanliness, sure, but also the talent Ruki had with decorating. Many times, he'd thought about having Ruki design Kai's place, but what would be the point? Kai wasn't very good at keeping places the way they should be. He'd often pick something up and end up leaving it somewhere he completely different, then spend months trying to find it. 

"Sure," he replied, looking around the luxurious room. The sitting room was open, and had a large window that allowed the sun to bathe the room during the day. It may be night time now, but even the lights hanging above washed the room in a warm light that welcomed visitors to relax, despite the hard floors. Ruki had an issue with carpet, saying it never felt clean enough. Instead, he had a simple white floor that brightened the room in contrast to the black couches.

"Make yourself comfortable," Ruki said, going into the kitchen to get then a couple beers from the fridge. Kai sat down on one of the softer couches and took his jacket off as he looked around. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he barely spent any time at Ruki's place. He may have been here once since the vocalist moved. "Do you like it?" Ruki asked as he returned with a couple beers for the two of them. Kai looked over at him, accepted the drink and nodded.

"I do. It's very...impressive. Though, I wouldn't expect any less from you," Kai told him. Ruki smiled. They sat there silently for a bit, before Ruki spoke again.

"Do you want to watch a movie or something?" Ruki offered. Kai shrugged. It didn't really matter to him. As long as he was beside Ruki, Kai would do anything. "I just got a new horror movie I was hoping to watch." Kai tensed up. Horror. Right...not his thing. In fact, Kai had never been able to watch horror movies. Especially not violent horror movies, at least not without puking at least. "Are you alright?" Ruki was looking at Kai, obviously aware that something had made Kai on edge. Kai nodded quickly, swallowing his nerves and smiled a bit.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Horror movies just make me a little uneasy," Kai explained, looking away a little embarrassed. Ruki looked at Kai for a moment, then smiled gently and touched his hand to Kai's cheek. Kai turned his head slightly into Ruki's touch. Ruki smiled softly and leaned in.

"Don't worry. I'll be right here. I'll protect you," Ruki whispered deeply, lips close to Kai's ear. Kai shivered as Ruki's breathe reached his neck. Ruki tilted Kai's chin up to catch his lips in a kiss. Kai pressed his lips against Ruki's, moaning lightly. Ruki smiled, and got up to put the movie in.

At first, Kai jumped whenever the music got loud or something popped out of nowhere, but every time Ruki calmed him down, whispering sweet comforts in his ear. Now, they were lying on the couch, movie turned down to a low volume; neither were paying attention to it anymore. 

Lips locked to each other, Ruki nipped lightly at Kai's bottom lip. He loved the way Kai would respond to the little bits of pain Ruki would send his way. Ruki was still learning the little secret's of Kai's body, but he knew of one spot that was a guaranteed winner. Trailing his lips lightly across his jawline, Ruki attacked them once to the spot just under his ear. Sucking lightly, his body trembled in response to the little squeaks that left his partner. 

Pressing down against Kai's hips with his own, the little tingles of excitement shot through his body. He could feel Kai, squirming against him as Ruki attacked his tender neck. Darting his tongue out against the little mark he made, the vocalist could only smirk at the noises that were coming from his boyfriend. It gave him a sense of pride to have Kai immobilized this way.

Brushing his fingertips along the edge of Kai's jeans, the warm skin shivered beneath his touch. Ruki bit his lip at that, pushing his hands up and under the shirt before tugging it off. Immediately, he leaned back over and sucked on the soft skin of Kai's chest, leaving more marks as he went along. Nothing turned him on more than marring the body of his lover. Getting to see the remnants of their heated encounters fueled him further.

"Taka..." The breathy sound of Kai speaking his name sent a shock of pleasure through Ruki and his eyes met Kai's. He hadn't heard the other say his real name like that before, and his eyes darkened as it brought out a new kind of feeling from within. 

Kai saw this and a flicker of confusion crossed his eyes, not sure what to make of it. He tried to sit up, wanting to kiss his lover but was sent back onto his back with a push, forcing a gasp to escape him. His hands were pressed into the cushions of the couch, held down by Ruki's surprisingly strong grasp. Their lips met again in a fiery kiss as Ruki's hips pressed against Kai's in a demanding attempt to be touched. Another groan from Kai had Ruki rushing to remove their clothes.

What was initially meant to be a sweet, tender act had transformed into a needy battle for release. The sudden change in Ruki was a shock for Kai, but he was compelled to give this new version everything he needed. Hot skin touching hot skin, Kai buried his face into Ruki's neck as the force of his partner's thrusts shocked him into new pleasures. 

The shock of the sudden intrusion passed quickly as their breathing quickened. Arms trembling, Ruki grabbed his hips and tugged him closer to his own, causing a rough thrust to go further than he expected. A strangled moan escaped his lover and the noise sent him reeling. Letting go of Kai's wrists, he gripped the arm of the couch behind his head and met Kai's eyes. Suddenly changing to a quick-paced almost manic pace, their lips met for once more heated kiss as the man beneath Ruki froze, twitching underneath him through the force of his orgasm.

Ruki never paused his moments through it, watching the way Kai's face contorted and his body shook. Grunting a bit, he buried his face into the other's neck as his own release came, suddenly hitting him with an explosive burst that left him weak. 

Collapsing on Kai, he panted and shifted a bit so they were next to each other instead. His eyes opened slowly and took in the picture in front of him. Bruised lips and hair sticking to the sweat on his face, Ruki could stare at Kai like this forever. Kai was trembling rather fiercely, and Ruki noticed.

"Are you alright?" Ruki asked in between deep breathes, concerned. Kai took quite a long time to answer, making Ruki even more nervous. Every time things got heated, Ruki was careful. But tonight was something completely different, and his usual cautiousness had been abandoned in the wake of his own pleasure. 

"I-I'm fine," Kai answered, trying to calm his shaking down. Ruki seemed unconvinced, sitting up a bit to look at Kai more closely. Rubbing small circles on Kai's chest, Ruki bit his own lip in concern. "Really Ruki, I'm fine. Perfect, actually," Kai pulled off a small smile through his heavy breathing. Ruki frowned a bit. "That was just...more than I thought capable from you. No offense, I mean... I was pleasantly surprised, that's all," Kai confessed, looking away a bit in embarrassment. Ruki smirked and pulled Kai as close to him as possible.Curled up to him, he rested his head on Kai's chest. The drummer chuckled a bit and wrapped an arm around him.


	6. FlashBack

Aoi was walking from Reita's place in deep thought. After helping Reita, he found that Uruha had left. Aoi had a slight feeling of guilt, but soon pushed it away when he realized that he didn't do anything wrong. Why would Uruha just up and leave? Turning around the corner, Aoi saw Uruha's house. Sighing, he shook his head. _He should really talk to him... _Knocking on the door, Aoi shifted his weight between his feet as he waited_...and waited...._ Frowning, he rang the door bell. "Uruha? Come on, Uru...talk to me.." Aoi huffed, a little annoyed. There was no reason for Uruha to be this childish. Trying to door as a last effort, he frowned as it opened. 

"Uruha?" Aoi called out, stepping into the house. Silence. Looking around, Aoi thought the place was far too quiet. Uruha was never quiet, even when he was on his own. _What's going on..._ "Uruha?"Rushing through the house, Aoi checked upstairs for Uruha, finding nothing but empty, messy rooms. Hurrying back downstairs, he called for him again. "Uruha?"

Stepping into the kitchen, Aoi heard a soft whimper. Aoi scurried across the kitchen to the open door to the large deck and stepped outside. Aoi saw Uruha sitting on the ground, eyes red and puffy, tears streaming down his cheeks. He let out a deep sigh and shook his head. _What the hell Uruha..._

"Uruha," Aoi breathed before running over to him. Uruha didn't even seen to register the fact that Aoi was there. He seemed to be in a completely other state of mind. "Uruha, look at me. Can you hear me?" Aoi tried relentlessly to bring Uruha out of whatever state he was in. Snapping his fingers, touching his face and more got him little response. Frowning, Aoi grew worried.

Uruha was far from noticing. In his mind flashed memories that no matter how hard he tried he couldn't rid himself of.

~~~FB~~~

Uruha hit the wall hard, causing a picture not too far off fall to the floor. Tears falling down his cheeks, any strength he had left abandoned him and his slid down the wall. A strong forceful hand pulled him up by the collar of his shirt and pushed him against the wall harshly, making Uruha let out a small cry of pain.He shut his eyes tightly and coughed a bit, the wind knocked out of him. Feeling dizzy, he groaned.

"Shut up," a deep voiced, slurred from alcohol, spoke up roughly. Uruha shut up, but he couldn't prevent another tear falling down his cheek before he felt a sharp slap across his face. He felt the sting on his cheek but didn't say anything. It wasn't the worst that would happen. 

"You wanna tell me what you said now?" the voice asked tauntingly, almost daring him. Uruha knew that he didn't say anything wrong, if he said anything at all. He didn't have to say anything. His father would always find an excuse to hit him. 

"You going to answer me?" the voice boomed, spit flying as Uruha's ears rang. Uruha whimpered slightly as he was thrown against the wall again before he even knew what was happening. A fist slammed against his face suddenly before warm blood began to trail from his nose and in his mouth.

"Please...," Uruha begged weakly, though knowing that it was hopeless. He felt the hard knuckles hit him again. No matter how hard he tried to get back up, they would just keep him down. The strong hands tugged him up, and Uruha knew what would happen next. "No...please, not again. Please!"

"Shut up!" the voice called, dragging Uruha with him into the room, slamming the door behind them.

~~~EFB~~~

"URUHA! URUHA, LOOK AT ME!" Aoi called frantically, watching hopelessly as Uruha thrashed, yelling out as if he was being... "URUHA!" Uruha stared at him for a second before he screamed and hit Aoi straight between the eyes. Falling backwards, Aoi stared at Uruha.

"U-Uruha?" Aoi breathed out, still shocked at being hit. Uruha sat there, shaking slightly as he stared at Aoi. Aoi watched him with wide eyes. Uruha blinked a few times before seeming to come out of the daze. Looking back to his raven-haired boyfriend, he pouted worriedly at the redness of his skin.

"A-Aoi?" Uruha's soft voice spoke up, though barely audible. Aoi just stared. "Aoi I didn't mean to, honestly!" Aoi wiped away the blood that was dripping from his nose. "Let me get you inside so we can put some ice on that."

"NO!" Aoi said firmly, making Uruha jump. "No, you are going to tell me what just happened." Uruha bit his lip quietly and said nothing. "Now, Uruha!"

"Aoi, you're bleeding. At least let me clean you up first," Uruha said, once again starting towards the house to get a towel. Aoi grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Tell me," Aoi said again. Uruha looked at him, before shaking his head. "Why not?" Aoi was starting to get a little ticked off at the way Uruha was acting. _What the fuck is going on? _Uruha stayed silent. "URUHA!"

"STOP YELLING AT ME!" Uruha screamed and tried to pull his arm away. Aoi just pulled him closer. As he looked into Aoi's eyes, fear grew again in his eyes and shocking his body. _Why was this happening again? With Aoi?_

"Please, Aoi!" Uruha asked. His voice was shaking as a few tears fell down his cheek, and instantly Aoi's anger disappeared. He let go of Uruha's arm and the blonde stepped away from Aoi quickly.

"Uruha, just tell me...You scared me. I just want to help," Aoi tried to explain, but Uruha just shook his head and went inside. "Uruha?" Aoi followed and found Uruha in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. Aoi came up to him, hugging him from behind. He felt Uruha tense but didn't let go. "I just want to help, Uru..."

"I don't want to talk about it," Uruha said quietly. Aoi turned him around gently and touched Uruha's cheek with the tips of his fingers.

"How can we make this work if you won't trust me?" Uruha looked at him for a moment, before leaning his head against Aoi's chest. Aoi wrapped his arms around Uruha's waist, hugging him.

"Why does the past matter? Isn't enough that we can just be happy now? Instead of living in the past?" Uruha questioned through Aoi's shirt, breathing in the sweet scent of his cologne. "I really care about you Aoi, and I will tell you. I'm just not ready yet." Uruha looked up at Aoi. Aoi looked at him quietly and nodded. Aoi would wait until Uruha was ready, as concerned as he was. It clearly wasn't going to help to push the topic any further. Uruha smiled, and kissed Aoi gently.

"I'm sorry about earlier," Aoi apologized. Uruha shrugged. "If there is anything that would make you feel better, let's do it..."

"Anything?" Uruha asked, looking up at him. Aoi nodded. Uruha smiled a little deviously. Aoi watched him confused as he grabbed a glass of water. Uruha took a sip of it casually before he walked over and dumped the rest of the glass over Aoi's head. Aoi shut his eyes tight quickly, completely caught off guard by Uruha's actions. Uruha looked at Aoi as he laughed. The top of his hair was flat from the water, as small droplets dripped from the ends of Aoi's hair. Uruha continued to laugh happily as Aoi opened his eyes.

"Have fun?" Aoi asked. Uruha grinned and nodded. Aoi smirked and shook his head. "That's good because payback's a bitch." Aoi reached over, grabbed the spray nozzle from the sink and sprayed Uruha. Uruha laughed, ran over to Aoi and wrestled the nozzle to spray him with it. Aoi's eyes widened and he took off through the patio door.

"Aoi?" Uruha blinked as he took off, though quickly recovered and went to the doorway. 

"In the back yard," Aoi sang playfully as he turned on the water hose. Uruha heard the water running and quickly opened the refrigerator. After he pulled out two water bottles, Uruha went out the front door and sneaked into the back yard. Uruha crept up behind Aoi and dumped the water on his head, causing Aoi to scream.

Aoi turned around quickly and sprayed him with the hose. Uruha screamed and ran away from him with Aoi on his heels. Uruha ran until Aoi couldn't pull the hose anymore, snickering as he was out of range of being hit. 

"Well, this sucks." Aoi laughed nervously. Uruha tossed the empty water bottles on the ground, jumping up and down.

"I WIN!" Uruha screamed.


	7. Forgiven?

4 days left.

Aoi woke up in Reita's arms with a smile. Reita said they would visit Uruha today. Ruki and Kai were going to meet them there.

Reita stirred slightly before opening his eyes. He smiled down at Aoi, who grinned back.

"Good morning," Aoi said cheerfully. Reita smirked, chuckling lightly.

"Morning," Reita replied, kissing Aoi's neck playfully. Pulling him closer, Reita rested his head tiredly, ready to get a few more hours of sleep, but Aoi would have none of that.

"Reita," Aoi whined, dragging Reita's name out, "You said we'd go visit Uruha today!" Aoi poked Reita in the ribs, making him squirm.

"Tomorrow, I said," Reita said, half asleep. Aoi whined and Reita lift an eyebrow, snickering a bit at the sound.

"That's what you said yesterday!"

"Oh," Reita said in pretend realization, " Well, better go get ready then." Reita grinned as Aoi hurried to go get ready. Reita sat up on the edge of the bed and stretched. He wasn't sure if going to visit Uruha was really a good idea. He didn't like what all of this was doing to Aoi, and by how it's been looking, it doesn't look good for Uruha. With so little time left for their friend, Reita couldn't exactly say _not_ to go. Soon, there wouldn't _be_ anyone to go visit. 

They drove to the hospital, phoning Ruki on the way to tell him that they might be a bit late. They arrived at the hospital and went inside slowly, preparing themselves for the sight of their friend still in that hospital bed. Ruki ran up to them, tears in his eyes.

"Ruki? What's wrong? What happened?" Reita said and rushed over with Aoi. 

"Uruha! He's awake!" Ruki said happily, barely able to keep himself from shaking. Reita didn't have time to answer, pulled away by Aoi as he dragged Reita down the hallway to Uruha's room. Kai was sitting outside of the room. He smiled when he saw Aoi dragging Reita, with Ruki following behind him.

"We wanted to wait for you two before we went in," Ruki explained.

"So he doesn't know we're here?" Aoi asked. Ruki shook his head. "Well, let's go in already!"

Kai went to open the door but the sticky door wouldn't budge. Trying again, he huffed and looked back at the others. Reita gave him a strange look, tried the door himself and found it opened fine.

"Hey, uh, guys? Go in ahead of us. I need to talk to Kai for a minute," Ruki said. Reita nodded, looking at Kai who was staring at the ground, pale white. Aoi and Reita went into the room, and Ruki closed the door behind them. He stood there with his back facing Kai, not saying a word. The drummer stood there awkwardly, knowing what was coming next and not wanting to deal with it.

"Is this enough yet" Ruki said before turning around to glare at Kai. "Have you had enough? I don't know what you're trying to pull off here, Kai, but I'm sick of it!"

"Ruki, please-" Kai said in a small voice, but was cut off by Ruki.

"No! Kai, you don't even have enough strength to open the fucking door! You can't continue to do this to yourself!"

"Do wha-" Kai started, but was once again cut off by Ruki.

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about, Kai," Ruki said, holding Kai to the wall with his chest, "Look at yourself!" Ruki grabbed his hand and pressed it against his own fairly evident ribs. Tears fell down Kai's cheeks. "Can't you see what you're doing to yourself?" Ruki asked in a much quieter, more fragile voice as tears poured from his own eyes. Letting him go, Ruki let his forehead fall to Kai's shoulder, not bothering to hide the tears of frustration.

"R-Ruki...I-I can't do this...I don't know what to...do...I-"

"Shh...Don't worry. We'll get through this together," Ruki comforted, pulling Kai into a tight hug. As frustrated as he was, he wasn't going anywhere. "I promise." They sat together for a while in the hallway, calming themselves down. Their fingers entwined, Ruki glanced over to his boyfriend quietly, thumb still stroking his hand slightly.

"Ready to go in?" Ruki asked.

"You go in. I'll be there in a minute," Kai said, wiping away the few remaining tears. Ruki nodded, kissing Kai and going inside. What he found was a very unpleasant surprise.

"Aoi, you bastard!" Uruha screamed, sitting up in his bed. looking for anything around him to throw, though most of the nearby items had already been tossed.

"Calm the fuck down, Uruha!" Reita yelled back at him. Aoi was at the other end of the room, trying to control his emotions. He looked guilty and frustrated, but still _so_ relieved Uruha was alright. 

"You can't expect me to just _forgive _you after what you did to me!" Uruha said hatefully towards Aoi. Ruki looked between them all and tried to piece together what was happening. Clearly, Uruha was fucked pissed at something that Aoi did, and Ruki could only put together one conclusion. 

"Uruha, calm down. The accident wasn't Aoi's fault, and your leg has already healed in the time that you were comatose," Ruki interjected, trying to calm the room down.

"Stay out of this, Ruki!" Reita told him heatedly. Ruki shut his mouth. "Uruha, look. Aoi's happy. You don't want to take that away from him, do you?" Reita asked. Aoi looked back at Uruha, not sure what to expect in response. He couldn't argue for himself. What he did _was _really wrong, and ended up getting Uruha hurt both physically _and_ emotionally. If he never forgave him, Aoi couldn't hold that against the honey blonde.

Uruha closed his eyes and when he opened them again, they were full of pain and indecision. A knock on the door broke the silence. Ruki opened the door, and Kai came into the room, oblivious as to what was happening. A big grin on his face, he hurried over to his friend and hugged him.

"Uruha!" Kai squealed happily, seeing his friend who looked more or less alright. Uruha's face relaxed and he smiled, hugging his friend back happily.

"Hey, Kai." When Uruha's hands touched Kai's side, he shot Ruki a worried glance. _What the hell?_ Ruki shifted in his spot and looked away, having no response.

"I'm so glad you're up!" Kai told him, grinning ear to ear.

"Yeah, me too!" Uruha chuckled. Just then, a doctor came into the room.

"I'm sorry to cut the party short but visiting hours are over, and we need to do a check up on your friend here," the doctor told them. The situation was far from resolved on any end, but they followed each other out the door after saying their goodbyes to Uruha.

Things were looking up for Uruha, and Kai too, but yet none of them were smiling. Too much had happened today. Reita took a silent Aoi home, and Ruki took Kai to pick up something for dinner. Their problems could wait until tomorrow.


	8. Secret's Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a long chapter!   
But there's a nice little bit of smut at the end as a present for those who can get through it!

"What do you mean he's gone?" Reita asked the nurse, outraged. It had only been a week since Uruha woke up, and they had come to visit him only to hear that he was no longer at the hospital. The nurses seemed unable to even answer them properly.

"He was released yesterday," the nurse at the desk told them after reviewing the file. Ruki groaned in frustration, angrily glaring at the poor women.

"And nobody thought to tell us? Who the hell let him leave without someone to pick him up?" Ruki was frustrated, but Kai's hand on his shoulder calmed him, leading him back outside.

"Let's go see if he's at home," Kai said, looking between the rest of his band mates. They hurried over to Uruha's place. Ruki knocked on the door, but got no response. After a few tries, he frowned and tried the door and found it unlocked. 

"Uruha?" Ruki called as the band piled into the house quickly. Everything looked normal. Nobody had broken in; it all looked as it should be. So where was their friend?

"Uruha?" Reita called as Aoi went upstairs to look around. No answer was heard. Ruki and Kai ventured further in to check the living room and kitchen, Kai peeking out the balcony window to see if there was anybody outside.

"He's not up there," Aoi said, hurrying down the stairs. Reita groaned. Aoi and him exchanged worried glances. _Was this because of them?_ Aoi knew it must be because of them, but he wasn't prepared to admit it.

"Guys, over here!" Ruki called to them from the kitchen. Aoi and Reita hurried over to where Ruki and Kai stood, holding a small piece of paper.

"What's that?" Aoi asked, taking the paper that Ruki held out for him and read it aloud.

_To whoever find this first,_

_A lot has happened recently, and I can't deal with it all right now. It's just too much. I need some time alone. I'm not going to tell you where I'm going. Don't come looking for me. I'll come back. I'm not giving up on the band, I just need a break. Tell everyone, I'm sorry. Somebody get Kai to eat, please. Tell Reita I don't blame him for anything, and tell Aoi that I'm sorry I couldn't be enough for him._

_Uruha_

The piece of paper fell from Aoi's hand. The other's were looking just as surprised as he did. Ruki, of course, had the most questions.

"What is Uruha not blaming Reita for? What the hell is going on here?" Glancing over at Aoi, Reita sighed and sat down. It wasn't going to be easy to just come out and say it, but it was no longer appropriate to hide this information anymore.

"Uruha and Aoi were together, like _together." _Ruki and Kai exchanged surprised glances, but it made sense. With how they acted together on _and off _stage, they really should have seen that coming years ago.

"Wait...were?" Kai spoke up, looking back to their bassist with a frown. Reita nodded a bit and sighed, ready to pick up on the story when Aoi interjected.

"Uruha and I weren't working out. He couldn't trust me with anything and I didn't have enough patience for him. Reita and I...we were, well getting close, too." Ruki gaped at them. How could all of this have been going on under his nose the whole time. _He really must have been distracted with Kai the whole time. _Kai's fingers found their way into Ruki's hand as they listened, wondering if this would be the time for them to come out as well.

"So, Uruha was pissed you broke up with him?" Ruki started again. Aoi sighed and looked down, shaking his head.

"We never actually broke up. Not until the day Uruha woke up." Both the boys frowned at the two, shaking their heads. "It was bad timing, but when I thought Uruha would never wake up, I told him about it while he was unconscious. I felt I had to do it. I don't know much about the science of things, but when Uruha woke up, he knew about all of it. How I was planning to break it off, and how...Reita and I had been seeing each other before the accident."

Ruki frowned more. "You fucking assholes." Aoi and Reita looked down, clearly very guilty and said nothing. 

"So he left because of all of this. Why wouldn't he say anything earlier?" Kai questioned quietly, sitting down in one of the chairs at the table.

"Because we would've stopped him," Reita explained, leaning against the counter. Aoi sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose, willing himself not to fall apart. Reita noticed and rested a hand on his leg gently.

"He'll come back, right?" Kai said, looking between them. Reita picked up the letter, reading it over again.

"He said he would. I wouldn't worry too much about him. He can take care of himself. He'll come back when he's ready."

\---------------------------------------------------

"Dammit!" Uruha closed the hood of the rental car and cursed again. He was on an empty road in the middle of nowhere, not even knowing _where_ he was going and now the stupid car just broke down. At this moment, he regretted not bringing his cell phone. He didn't want the others to call him when they found he was gone, and assumed he could buy a temporary one when he reached the next city.

Sighing, Uruha started to walk down the dirt road. This time alone gave Uruha a chance to think, at least. It was over between Aoi and him; that much Uruha knew, but what was he supposed to do now? Uruha wasn't sure if he could keep playing with the band if Aoi and Reita were together, boldly happy in front of him. What would he do? There were no tears that Uruha cried for Aoi. Even though he was mad at Aoi, the breakup would have been mutual. Uruha didn't know what he was going to do yet, but he hoped to find out before he had to go back.

Seeing a lake, Uruha headed towards it, needing a break from the heat of the sun on his back. Reaching the lake, he walked out onto the wooden dock. Looking out over the large blue lake, he felt a sense of peace wash over him. He closed his eyes, listening to the small waves wash on shore. He considered dipping his feet in to cool off.

"Hey!" a voice from behind him called. Uruha's eyes opened in surprise.

"Huh?" Uruha turned around quickly, stumbling with his feet. His left foot caught the edge of the dock and he fell into the chilly water. He came back to the surface seconds later with a gasp for air. Swimming over to the edge, he grabbed onto the dock.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry! Here, let me help you up," the young male said, helping Uruha out of the water. Uruha looked up to see the face of the young man, and couldn't help but stare. He was grinning back at Uruha with a smile that rivaled Kai's own. Clear skin and the cheeky smile made Uruha blush a bit.

"Are you okay" the man asked quickly. Uruha nodded and smiled stupidly back at him. _Jesus, just look at him._

"I'm fine. Perfect, actually," he responded, breathless. The guy smiled kindly.

"Good. I'm sorry about that. You see someone randomly standing on your dock and you get a little concerned, you know?" Uruha nodded quietly, only just noticed he was shivering. The young man also noticed and reached out, rubbing his arms. "That water must be freezing. I've got a change of clothes you can have, come on." Uruha followed him quietly into the house. He didn't know who this guy was, but he was _freaking cold._

"What's your name?" Uruha asked as the man searched through his closet for something that would fit Uruha. He came out with some clothes and smiled at Uruha.

"Takamasa, but please, call me Miyavi," he said, handing the clothes to Uruha. The blonde changed shamelessly, eager to get the wet clothes off of himself. "What's your name?"

"Uruha," he answered, pulling a white muscle shirt over his head. Miyavi smiled at him, then frowned slightly and touched the other's forehead. Uruha winced and pulled away.

"You hit your head pretty hard on something. You should stay here for a little while, just to make sure you're alright." Uruha could only nod in agreement. He wasn't going anywhere in particular, and Miyavi seemed nice. Besides, he was kind of cute! _Not very murderer-like so he was probably fine, right?_

A bit later, the two were sitting out on the deck, a smoke between their fingers as they chatted. The sun had already gone down, and Miyavi had called to have the rental car brought to the cabin.

"So what are you doing way out here?" Miyavi asked, letting out a cloud of smoke from his lips as he glanced towards the other. Uruha sat with his knees to his chest, watching the cancer stick burn idly in his hands.

"Just driving. No real destination," Uruha explained, looking at Miyavi, "When the car broke down, I started walking. I saw the lake and decided to come check it out." Uruha looked out across the beautiful scene from the deck and sighed a bit. "It's so nice out here. I love it."

"Well, you're welcome to stay as long as you want," Miyavi offered, "It gets rather boring out here by myself. It'd be nice to have somebody else here."

"Really?" Uruha's face lit up. Miyavi laughed, and moved some hair out of Uruha's face.

"Yes!" Miyavi said brightly, then softer, "Of course." Uruha's heart was beating quickly at Miyavi's hand that was still by his face, gently playing with Uruha's hair. Looking up, their eyes met. Uruha felt butterflies in his stomach, and bit his lip. The silence hung in the air until Miyavi blinked and moved away.

"So, you just live out here on your own?" Uruha spoke up, looking away as he changed the topic, finally taking a drag from the cigarette.

"Well, It's a rented place. I'm supposed to be out here finding _inspiration._" Miyavi chuckled a little bitterly and put the end of the cigarette out. "I write music," He explained and leaned forward on his knees. "But lately, it's been hard to write something that actually means something to me, and not just what the label wants." Uruha nodded quietly. He knew what that was like, but with Ruki in their corner, fighting that battle for them, it wasn't something that had to deal with much anymore.

"Sorry. Here, let me show you to your room," Miyavi said,standing up, leading Uruha back inside and up the stairs. Uruha frowned, but followed. What had just happened there? For a minute it seemed as if Miyavi was relaxed and chatting with him, then suddenly it was over. Not wanting to press his luck with his new friend, he followed Miyavi quietly. 

Miyavi showed him to a large room decorated in gold and dark red colors. The bed was made of a nice cherry wood with matching end tables and a dresser.

"Wow," Uruha exclaimed before he could stop himself, nodding as he looked around. The was the room they were in earlier, but Uruha hadn't really looked around at the time. Miyavi smiled from behind him.

"Do you like it?" he asked. Uruha turned around to look at him before observing the room again. He nodded.

"Yes, I do. But," Uruha said, " this is the room we were in earlier...isn't it yours?" Miyavi nodded. Uruha blushed deeply, not sure what to say.

"I'll stay in the other room. You look exhausted, and that's the best bed in the house," he explained with a small smile. "I should know, I tried them all out when I first got here."

"Oh, I couldn't!" Uruha tried to disagree. Miyavi was nice enough to let him stay with him. He didn't need to take him from his room, too.

"Really, you could. Don't worry about it," Miyavi smiled. "Goodnight." With that, he closed the door. Uruha sighed, and rested his body against the door. Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes and his mouth formed a dreamy smile.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

"I love you , Ruki," Kai said, as they laid on the couch together. Ruki looked at Kai for a minute. Kai blinked. "What?"

"That was a little random. Are you okay?" Ruki asked. Kai giggled.

"Of course I'm okay! Do I need a reason to tell you that I love you?" Kai said, turning to face him, placing his hands on Ruki's chest. Ruki wrapped his arms around him.

"No. I just thought it came out of nowhere, that's all," Ruki told Kai, tracing patterns over his back. Kai closed his eyes, and rested his head on Ruki's shoulder feeling his fingers trail lightly over his skin, giving him goosebumps.

"No, I was just thinking about earlier when Reita and Aoi explained what happened between them and Uruha. I thought about how I wouldn't be able to survive without you, and I don't want you to leave so I..." Kai trailed off when he felt Ruki's fingers stop. Opening his eyes, he saw Ruki looking at him oddly.

"Kai, I'm never going to leave you," Ruki said quietly, touching Kai's cheek lightly. Kai looked into Ruki's soft eyes with his own big, round orbs.

"Really?" Kai smiled the smile that Ruki loved so much.

"I'll only leave if you want me to," Ruki confirmed, as he resumed tracing swirls and hearts on Kai's back with his fingers.

"Never," Kai said firmly, pressing his lips to Ruki's soft ones. Ruki kissed back lovingly. Kai responded by pressing himself against Ruki's body, placing his hands on Ruki's neck right behind his ears.

Ruki moaned, and kissed Kai harder, placing his hands on Kai's lover back, trying to close the gap between the two of them. Ruki kissed the corner of Kai's mouth before trailing his jawline and neck, lightly grazing his lips over the soft skin.

Finding a spot on Kai's neck, just below his ear, Ruki kissed the skin, biting the spot lightly until there was a nice little red mark forming. Kai moaned, leaning his head back to give Ruki more room, running his fingers through Ruki's hair.

Ruki's hands traveled up and down Kai's side, before adventuring under Kai's shirt. The skin underneath was smooth and soft. Ruki's hand traveled up Kai's back, then round to the front the graze over his chest. Ruki kissed his lips hard before lifting Kai's shirt over his head.

Ruki looked down at the beautiful sight before him. The sun from the skylight gave a nice golden glow over Kai's bare chest, and made his eyes shimmer brightly.

Leaning over, Ruki brought one of Kai's nipples to his mouth. He heard Kai moan as he ran his tongue over it, feeling it harden upon contact. Ruki looked up at Kai, he saw that his eyes were closed blissfully as he breathed quickly though his lips. Ruki took this chance to attack Kai's lips in a fierce kiss.

Grinding their hips together, Kai moaned into the kiss, biting Ruki's lip lustfully. Ruki moaned, breaking the kiss for a moment to take his own shirt off, throwing it someplace else, unwanted.

Tugging on Ruki's jeans, Kai attempted to unbutton them. Ruki helped him, and soon both pairs of jeans were carelessly discarded. Ruki pressed their hips together again, earning a loud moan from Kai's lips.

"Fuck, Ruki! Just do it already!" Kai managed to say through gasps of breathes. Ruki kissed Kai's lips before tracing them with his fingers. Kai welcomed them more than happily. He ran his tongue over Ruki's two fingers, enjoying the wonderful taste that was uniquely Ruki.

Ruki pulled his fingers away, replacing them with his lips. Kai clung to him as he pushed one finger gently into him, then another, preparing him. Kai moaned.

"Ready, babe?" Ruki whispered into his ear after a moment. Kai could only nod into Ruki's shoulder. Without further warning, Ruki thrust into Kai's more than ready body.

Kai dug his nails into Ruki's back, clinging to him, his head buried in Ruki's neck, muting a loud moan. Ruki continued to move easily back and forth, letting Kai adjust when needed.

"Ruki," Kai moaned, breathing unevenly as his nails dragged down Ruki's back. Ruki was too blinded in ecstasy to even notice.

"Oh my God!" Kai exclaimed as Ruki hit that _one_ spot that sent Kai through the roof every time. Ruki went harder, hitting that spot over and over again. "Ruki, I'm gonna—oh my god!" Kai moaned loudly. Hearing Kai, Ruki went harder still, until he heard Kai scream his name as he came over both their stomachs. Ruki came only moments later, kissing him roughly as he rode out his orgasm.

Collapsing on Kai, Ruki fought to catch his breath. Kai lay there, hair sticking to his face as he waiting for his heart rate to return to a normal level.

"Ruki?" Kai breathed as they lay beside each other, Ruki holding Kai to him, and Kai's head resting on the base of Ruki's neck.

"Yes, Kai?" Ruki played idly with Kai's hair, glancing down at him.

"We should tell the others about us..."

Ruki just smiled and kissed his head, having been thinking the same thing.

"Okay."

**A/N: Sorry it's a long as chapter, but this is really when things start getting better haha.... it still required a lot of editing. **


	9. A New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy Fluff Fluff

Uruha woke up to the sun hitting his face as it warmed the room. A sleepy smile on his lips, he rolled over and cuddled up to the fluffy pillows. Hugging the pillow to him, he closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep. Just as he got close to drifting off, an annoying beeping noise came from the small clock on the end table. Uruha groaned, and buried his head into the pillow. He heard quick feet run up the stairs and into the room, hurrying to shut the alarm off.

Once the alarm was successfully turned off, Miyavi sighed and leaned against the wall, relieved when he saw Uruha apparently still in a deep sleep. He smiled. His smile faded when Uruha lifted his head up.

"It stopped," Uruha said sleepily, giving a small, grateful smile.

"Sorry. I forgot I set that," Miyavi said sheepishly. He couldn't help smiling a bit at the sight of Uruha. He was tangled up in the thick blankets, practically strangling a pillow as he held it to his chest. His beautiful blonde hair was messed up, and slightly tangled around his face. He looked up at Miyavi through tired, half-opened eyes, and had a slightly dazed smiled that graced his full lips.

"It's okay. I was already awake," Uruha assured, leaving out the part where he decided to be lazy and try to go back to sleep. Miyavi seemed to have been up for a while, and Uruha didn't really want to look bad in front of him.

"Okay...well, I'll let you get ready. Just pick whatever you want from the closet to wear. I'll be downstairs," Miyavi said, shifting awkwardly on his feet. Uruha nodded, and Miyavi left. Uruha got up a few minutes later, took a shower, and got ready. Going down the stairs, Uruha looked for Miyavi. He was wearing a loose pair of jeans, a white tank top and a _really_ soft hoodie that he just couldn't resist putting on.

Stepping outside, Uruha stretched and looked at the beautiful scene around him, breathing in the sweet scent of pine trees and water. As he walked down to the beach, he listened to the soft sound of the small waves as they hit the shore. It instantly relaxed him and he couldn't help but smile. He'd never really thought about how much nature alone could improve his mood, but without even trying he'd found out.

Looking up, Uruha saw a large white boat at the dock. Uruha hadn't noticed it the other day, but now he couldn't imagine how he missed it. The boat itself was huge, and if the sails were up it would look even larger. Uruha decided to check it out, and walked over to it. On the side, it read _Lovelie_. Uruha smiled.

"Hey there!" Miyavi said from the boat, making Uruha jump. "Oh, sorry! I really have to stop doing that." Miyavi was leaning over the rail of the boat, smiling down at him as he played with the ring in his lip. 

"This is your boat?" Uruha questioned, looking up at Miyavi, though the answer seemed obvious. Miyavi nodded.

"Wanna go for a ride?" Miyavi asked with a grin. Uruha's smile faltered. "What's wrong?" Uruha bit his lip and shrugged before looking down.

"I…don't like boats," Uruha explained, then saw Miyavi's expression, "I mean, I like boats. It's just going on them…on water…fast…" Uruha turned a pale white color. Miyavi seemed to understand completely.

"Oh. I get it now. Don't worry about it. If you're not comfortable with it, then we won't. No big deal," Miyavi reassured Uruha. Uruha nodded silently. It wasn't that Uruha was uncomfortable on boats at all, in fact he loved them, but to him, getting onto the boat would mean that he was giving his complete trust to Miyavi, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to completely trust _anybody_ anymore. 

He barely knew this guy and already he felt a little _too _ comfortable with him. At any moment now, he was ready to say _screw it, let's go fuck_ and forget about any reservations he had. But after Aoi, he had to be more careful. He had to take _time_ and really get to know somebody before he did anything. For all he knew, Miyavi was just a nice guy and wasn't interested in him that way at all. 

But if Miyavi didn't like Uruha that way, then what exactly had happened last night? Uruha was sure that Miyavi was going to kiss him, but what exactly made him stop?

"On second thought, I'd like to go," Uruha said suddenly to Miyavi, who looked at him in obvious surprise.

"Are you sure?" Miyavi asked, trying to sound serious, but it was easy to see the bright happiness that Miyavi had. Uruha nodded with an encouraging smile. "Well, let's go then!" Miyavi said happily as he helped Uruha onto the boat.

A wave rolled by, making the boat rock, and Uruha lost his balance, tripping over his feet. Miyavi steadied him.

"Careful there. You might want to sit down or hold onto something once we're out there. You don't want to go overboard," Miyavi said as Uruha sat down in one of the many seats lining the side of the deck. Soon, they were off sailing at a relaxing yet brisk pace across the water.

The wind felt nice against Uruha's face as they sailed down the large lake. He closed his eyes and let the light spray of ocean water hit his face. Miyavi looked over at him and smiled, glad that Uruha seemed to be enjoying himself despite his earlier reservations. Miyavi grinned, and stopped the boat in a little, secluded part of the lake.

Uruha got up, and walked over to the railing near Miyavi, looking over into the clear water to see fish swimming carelessly around. The sun shone through the lake, casting beautiful colors throughout it. Miyavi watched Uruha as he stared at the water, seemingly transfixed. The boat rocked a bit as a gust of wind blew across the lake. Miyavi saw Uruha lose his balance and quickly wrapped an arm around his waist, grabbing the railing with his other hand to sandwich the blonde between it and himself.

When the rocking settled, Uruha felt Miyavi's hand still on his waist, and blushed deeply. Looking up at Miyavi he found that they were again only a short distance away from each other. Miyavi's eyes stared into Uruha's, almost looking confused. Uruha looked back silently. Miyavi touched Uruha's face gently, tracing his jaw line and Uruha's heart skipped a beat at the touch.

Just as Miyavi was leaning in, a seagull flew by, squawking in its high, screechy call, making Miyavi and Uruha jump. Miyavi stepped away, and stared at the floor, refusing to look Uruha in the eye. Sighing, Miyavi looked at Uruha, who had a disappointed look on his face, and a slight pout on his lips. Miyavi smiled. So the feelings Miyavi had for him were mutual!

"Hey, can I show you something?" Miyavi asked Uruha, still wearing a huge grin. Uruha nodded, still confused. Miyavi took Uruha's hand and led him over to the steering wheel of the boat. Uruha gasped, knowing that this boat was expensive, and Miyavi was trusting him at the helm? Miyavi placed one of Uruha's hands on one side, and his other hand on the other side. Miyavi stood behind Uruha, his hands gently over Uruha's showing him how to steer. Uruha was smiling when he looking back at Miyavi, only to be caught off guard when Miyavi kissed him gently.

Uruha was still for a moment before kissing back, turning around to face Miyavi completely. Miyavi broke the kiss after a moment to smile at Uruha, gently touching his face before tilting his head up to kiss him again.

Uruha's heart was beating quickly. Wrapping his arms around Miyavi's neck, Uruha bit Miyavi's lip lightly, feeling the metal of his piercing. Miyavi moaned and pulled him a little closer, not expecting such a bold move from the other.

Pulling away,Uruha rested his forehead on Miyavi's chest, a slight blush tingeing his cheeks. He shivered as a more gentle breeze pushed the boat once more.

"We should head back. It's getting late," Miyavi said, turning the boat back towards where they came from. Uruha only now noticed that the sky was getting darker, and stars were appearing small and bright.

Uruha sat down, resting his head on his arms. He closed his eyes, feeling the wind through his hair and listened to the soothing sound of the water. Moments later, he heard Miyavi speak.

"Uruha. Uruha, wake up. We're back." Uruha opened his eyes, realizing he must have fallen asleep. Uruha smiled, got up, stretched as he yawned, falling back onto the boat seat. Miyavi laughed and picked up Uruha bridal style, carrying him off the boat.

"Hey! Hey, what are you doing? Put me down!" Uruha complained, clinging to Miyavi. The later didn't listen to the sleepy protests and brought the blonde right up the stairs to the bedroom. He placed Uruha under the blankets, covered him up and kissed him gently on the forehead once he noticed Uruha was already asleep again.

Miyavi smiled, and curled up beside Uruha. He gently kissed his neck before falling asleep, his arm around Uruha as he held the blonde to his chest.

_"Uruha! Uruha, where are you?" Uruha heard Miyavi call frantically, but he couldn't see him. Uruha looked all around, but all he saw was black. "Uruha! Uruha, I can't find you."_

_"Miyavi, I'm here. Where are you?" Uruha called out, feeling around, only to discover that his wrists were painfully tied together with rope._

_His hand touched another, and he grabbed onto it._

_"Miyavi, talk to me, please! What's going on?" Miyavi groaned._

_"Uruha?" Miyavi brought his also tied up hands to Uruha's._

_"Miyavi! Miyavi, where are we?" Uruha asked, curling up to Miyavi, who kissed his forehead to help calm him, though his whole body shook with fear himself._

_"I don't know but we have to get out of here. Fast," Miyavi said, pulling Uruha up with him so that they were standing. Uruha felt a pain in the leg he was using as support, and he collapsed. Miyavi caught him carefully and pulled him close. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"_

_"I don't know. There's something wrong with my leg," Uruha said, tears in his eyes. Miyavi kissed him sweetly and sighed._

_"Stay calm. I'll check it out." Miyavi did as he said he would. With a worried expression, he gave Uruha his diagnosis. "I think it's broken." Uruha whimpered. "Shh," Miyavi said, kissing him again, "Don't worry. We'll get out of here, and I'll take you to a hospital, alright?"_

_"O-Okay," Uruha agreed. Miyavi struggled slightly with his restraints before giving up with a sigh._

_"Uruha, I have a pocketknife, but I can't reach it. Can you get it?" Uruha grabbed the knife, and gave it to Miyavi. "I need you to cut my ropes, okay?"_

_"Okay," Uruha said, cutting the ropes with some difficulty. Miyavi's hands came free, and he cute the ropes from Uruha's wrists, which were considerably tighter. Once they were cut, Miyavi assessed the red marks on Uruha's wrists, and was not pleased._

_"Whoever did this is going to fucking pay," Miyavi muttered. Helping Uruha up, careful of his broken arm, Miyavi walked around the room searching for an exit. Finding none, he helped Uruha sit down, and sat beside him, staring out into the darkness. He had walked blindly around the room, finding no exit. What was he supposed to do now?_

_Uruha rested his head against the cold stone wall, breathing deeply as he tried to ignore the burning pain in his arm._

_Suddenly, he felt Miyavi being pulled away from him roughly. He heard Miyavi swearing as he fought back against the invisible source. _

_"Uruha!" Miyavi called, grabbing his hand. Uruha held on but the unknown force was stronger than him. He sat there helplessly as Miyavi was pulled away, screaming for him._

Uruha awake and sat up quickly, tears streaming down his face, screaming Miyavi's name. Miyavi woke up, startled. Seeing Uruha crying and disoriented as he looked around, Miyavi reached over and took his hand in his own. 

"Uruha?" Miyavi called to him, slowly sitting up. Uruha turned to him, catching him in a tight hug. "What's wrong?" Uruha didn't saw anything; he just kissed Miyavi hard. Miyavi was more than just a little surprised. When Uruha pulled away, Miyavi stared at him with wide eyes and his mouth open. Uruha blushed.

"Sorry, I just...uh...the dream; nightmare-," Uruha started, being stopped as Miyavi kissed him, knocking him backwards. Uruha grinned against his lips, relaxing a bit as the remnants of the nightmare faded away.

"I don't know what happened, but I'm not going to complain if it keeps you kissing me like that."


End file.
